This is something Tiff and I both hear relatively often in our line of work, promoting health and fitness. In fact, it’s likely we’ve all muttered this, or something similar, at some point in our lives.
It’s a pretty common feeling. And if you’ve found yourself thinking it lately, know that you’re far from alone.
When I hear it, my reaction is always to break it down.
Firstly, DO you really know what to do? Do you know what you, specifically, should be doing to lose weight/get fit/sleep better etc., or do you have an idea of general population-wide recommendations? Because these are two separate things.
Health is not a one-size-fits-all (I’ve yet to find anything that is), and, as such, generic recommendations can only ever be somewhat of a guideline. You, your body, your priorities, and the context of your life, are all important factors that impact how you live your life – and trying to achieve anything without taking this into account isn’t setting yourself up for success.
The guidelines are there for a reason, and they absolutely have a place, but they aren’t necessarily useful for us on a personal level.
Secondly, even if you know what to do – do you know how to do it, and how to do it in a way that is sustainable?
One of the most common ‘mistakes’ I see people trip up on when it comes to their health, is trying to do ALL THE THINGS, all at once.
Changing behaviour is not an all-or-nothing game, and if you treat it as such, you risk failure even as you begin. It is much more productive to think in terms of small, simple tasks, steps and tweaks that you can carry out easily – and to have a plan of how you’re going to follow this through.
(FYI, ‘Tomorrow is the day I’m going to change’ is NOT an action plan).
Our brains are big on routine, they like to know exactly what to expect, and they like to keep up safe. For our brains, anything new, any change we make to our daily habits, is a leap into a big and scary unknown. Our brains have developed this way as part of our evolution, and, as a species, it’s been very useful in keeping us alive.
Unfortunately, in the here and now, it’s not ideal.
And so, fear develops. We fear failure (which once would have meant death, but now, typically means ‘oh bummer’ and nothing much more), we fear discomfort, and – to some extent – we may even fear success. When we feel threatened, and we anticipate hardship, when we know something is coming that we’re not going to enjoy, our natural response it to avoid it. Even when we, on a conscious level, are striving to change who we are (our identity), our subconscious (which is approximately 95-97% of our thought processes – scary, right?) wants to keep us exactly where we are – because here is safe.
And what does this all mean?
In essence, breaking patters is hard, and changing behaviours is uncomfortable. And neither of those feelings are ones we tend to actively pursue.
However, the good news (there is some, I promise!), is that when the action is easier, we fear it less, we have less resistance, and, therefore, more chance of success. And those small successes then give us an emotional boost (that warm and fuzzy feeling), which motivates us to keep moving forward.
So, start small, and congratulate yourself often.
Be compassionate with yourself when things don’t go to plan (they very rarely do), and learn to push through these setbacks, and to not catastrophize (no, you haven’t ruined all your good work in one chocolate binge – and thinking this way will only set you back further).
The ability to follow plans, to form new habits and stick to them, and to achieve hard goals – these are skills, and we all can learn them.
In fact, this is a large part of what health coaching is all about. Guidance, support, and a cheerleader. Someone to problem-solve with, and to push you to consider things from a different perspective. And honestly, it can be a game changer when it comes to DOING THE THING.
That, and asking good questions or course (us coaches love a question!). Which brings me to my final tip of this blog post. Ask yourself the right questions.
For example, ask yourself; ‘what fears do I have around change?’, ‘what past experiences have I had of dieting/exercise/other, and how are these impacting me?’, ‘what can I do to make changing patterns easier for myself?’, and ‘what support do I need to make this happen?’.
Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do – and when you find yourself struggling, dig in, be curious, and make a plan forward.
Comments