Ahhhh this is a biggie. Emotional eating, stress eating, comfort eating, boredom eating… these are eating behaviours that are fueled by our feelings, not our physical hunger. And that is exactly what makes them so tricky.
This isn’t an incidence where you can recommend drinking more water, or eating more protein, or adding in healthy snacks (although, actually, these can help – more later). Ultimately, this is about honing in on the source of your emotional overwhelm, and finding other ways to sooth, comfort, and regulate yourself.
Just to be clear, we nearly all use food as a form of reward in certain situations. There is nothing inherently wrong with food being a celebration, or treating yourself to something delicious-and-maybe-not-so-nutritious.
What can be a problem, is when people feel out of control with their eating, and when it becomes such a crutch for emotional support, that the behaviour of reaching for a sweet treat becomes so automatic that it isn’t a conscious choice. At this stage, food often doesn’t actually give the reward, or the comfort, you crave (in fact, as most of us will be aware of, it often leaves you feeling a bit grumpy and unsatisfied), and this can spiral into binge eating, and other forms of disordered eating behaviours.
And that’s not what we want for you.
Food is about so much more that nutrient intake. From a very young age, food becomes ingrained as a social activity, and has strong emotional connections. And, indeed, the act of being comforted by food is something that most of us will have experienced early on in our lives – being given a cookie to distract us from a scraped knee, or snacks in the car to redirect our boredom. We are, essentially, taught that food can fix our problems.
And eating does make us feel good. It releases the feel-good chemical, dopamine, which is a pleasure response.
Looking at it like this, you can get a pretty clear picture of why so many people feel they struggle with emotional eating.
So, what can we do about it? Is there a way to stop being emotionally dependent on food?
Well, the good news is yes, there are steps we can take to reduce the urge to binge eat, to shift your mindset and, in time, to alter the actions you take when emotionally overwhelmed. It’s important to mention here that it takes time and effort to create new habits and behaviours, and to figure out how to relieve stress, and/or to change your response to it.
I’m afraid there’s no quick or easy fix. (Feel’s like there never is, right?)
I recommend starting by being both compassionate, and curious. Be kind to yourself. So many of the actions we take we are barely even aware of, so please don’t waste time and energy being cross with yourself for something you had little chance of being able to control. These habits have taken YEARS to build, and to be re-enforced, and breaking them down is about so much more than a drop of willpower.
Then, get thoughtful. Research yourself. Seek data. What environments are impacting your emotional eating? What situations are triggers? How often is this occurring? How do you feel before, during, and after you emotionally eat? A great way of keeping a record is to start an emotional eating journal. noting all of this information. You might be surprised how much just being mindful of your emotions and eating behaviours can start to make a difference.
As I so often say, you cannot change what you are not aware of. Awareness is always the first step in understanding what is happening – and why.
Be curious about other ways of relieving stress (or boredom, or sadness – whatever emotion you are currently using food to distract from). What else sooths or comforts you? Do you feel comforted by a hug from a loved one? A phone call to that friend who always makes you laugh? Switching off by listening to a podcast episode, or watching an episode of your favourite sitcom? Finding an alternative way to regulate our emotions gives us an option to lean on as a replacement for food.
Try to get moving and see how this makes you feel. Exercise is a great reliever of stress, frustration and negative emotions. Whether this takes the form of a run, a weight session, or a dance around the kitchen to your favourite album, it’s all worthwhile. And, of course, getting outside for a walk gives a double whammy of moving our bods, and connecting with nature.
Self-care is really important when it comes to both soothing and stress prevention.
If you’re able to look after yourself, you build up so much protection to difficult events and environments, which, in turn, allows you to feel calmer and more in-control in the moment. Finding ways to trigger your parasympathetic nervous system (aka the rest & digest system that helps our bodies to relax) is a great antidote to stress and strong emotions. Ideas include; having a warm bath, lighting candles or incense, singing or humming, exercise, being in nature, meditation and mindfulness practices.
Also important is making sure that you are eating regular, filling meals. I know I said that emotional hunger and physical hunger are separate processes, and yes, they are, but being hungry (or indeed, ‘hangry’) impacts our mood, can lead to cravings, and increases the likelihood of ‘mindless eating’.
Be prepared if you can. Of course, we can’t always predict a stressful event, or emotional situation in advance. But when we can – on the days we know work is likely to be busy, or we know we’ll be in circumstances that are likely to trigger us, advanced planning can make a huge difference. Knowing you have something food-wise to look forward to can offer that support. Packing your fridge full of filling, nutritious snack options, or, indeed, reassuring yourself that you have a chocolate bar ready for after the stressful period – it’s not about never having comfort food, it’s about feeling in control of your behaviour and your choices.
Sometimes allowing ourselves the treat, guilt free, withdraws that crave-binge cycle.
And if you’re someone who finds themselves spiraling into one snack after another, seeking that reward over and over, make a plan with yourself; first, I eat this chocolate bar and enjoy it, then I get out for a 15 minute walk, to calm my mind and body. Having just a short circuit breaker allows us to reset, and approach the situation with a more intentional mindset.
I hope this article helps you understand more about emotional eating, and gives you some ideas to try when it comes to regulating how you seek comfort.
Disordered eating is a valid concern, and please always reach out if you feel you need additional support in dealing with this.
As ever, we would love to hear your comments, experiences, tips and advice.
Comments