A Practical Tool for Self Acceptance

I want to ask you something...

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Do you see the strong, resilient, confident or driven woman that others say you are? The ambitious entrepreneur? The glue that holds the family together? The kind and caring friend/mother who is always there? Or do you see someone else? Someone less? I know from experience that so many of us have an incredibly different image of who we are when compared to what others think of us. Sadly, we often see a lesser version of ourselves and even more tragically we are made to believe that how we look is more important than who we really are inside. I mean, how flipping GREAT would it be if we could not only see ourselves the way others do but feel the same sense of appreciation, pride and awe about ourselves as we do for others?? Sounds pretty damn delightful hey?

What I'm trying to say is that the way we feel about ourselves is really where it's at. But how do we get to a place like that? Well, for one, it's important to realise that no one can compliment us to a place of self-acceptance or love.

Despite what our society tells us, no amount of weight loss or muscle tone or external validation will get us there either. We have to do the inside work and we have to do it for ourselves.

We have to change the way we think and our self-talk. The thing is, the more we think a certain way, the more feelings we attach to these thoughts. When thoughts have feelings attached to them they become beliefs. And beliefs are powerful because they actually trigger a physical sensation in our bodies when a specific thought arises. Something our brain latches onto. Think: "when I lose weight I'll feel better about myself" - cue feelings of shame, maybe a hot face, racing heart and sweating (hi anxiety). Our beliefs shape the way we feel about ourselves. So to improve our self-image and work towards self-acceptance - we must improve our thoughts.

This shit takes work girl and yes, it's easier said than done but it can be done. So I want to share with you a really practical tool that my life coach taught me - so boujie I know - but it helped me overcome some really big blocks and gain confidence in the areas that I struggled with.

The method I learned is called the Thought Ladder and here's how it works:

`Each time you think the thought you want to change you replace it with a new thought. Something that is a little step up - a step towards what you'd like to be thinking. You don't have to go from 0-100% all at once. Gradually think yourself up the ladder towards your goal thought. Let me give you an example:

Starting Thought: "I hate my body"

Goal Thought: "I LOVE my body"

I can hear you rolling your eyes. You can't imagine loving your body right now and I get it. So hear me out. We can't get from hating ourselves to loving ourselves in one fell swoop right? So work yourself up the ladder bit by bit. Here's an example:

"I am open to accepting my body"

then..

"I accept my body for how it is."

then..

"I appreciate my body for it's strength"

"I LOVE MY GODDAMN BhODY!!!!" live" or maybe "for growing my babies" and finally...

"I LOVE MY GODDAMN BODY!!!!"

or something to that effect. You get my drift. Have a look at the graphic below and think about which thought you'd like to have that would lead towards a more positive self-image - a more confident you. A more accepting you. Or even a more empowered you.

Tiff xx